beautiful

I want to tell you a story:

A young man in high school wants desperately to go to art school, and his mother is worried about the implications for his future.

“You can’t make a career out of art,” she says, or something like it. “I’d sleep much better knowing you chose a path where you can reliably support yourself.”

He tries to think of a way to convince her, and he decides to draw a picture of her. At first, it’s an opportunity to demonstrate how committed he is to his craft. But then, when he sits down to draw her, he starts to notice things — remember things about her that he’d never really given much thought. He sees the hangnails on her fingers, and he thinks of all the dishes she does, all the meals she prepares, all the times she’s given herself the worst serving so that her family can enjoy their meal to the fullest.

By drawing her, he has to pay attention to her; and by paying attention to her, he really sees her for the first time.

That scene is from the anime Blue Period, and I’ve cried every time I’ve watched it.

I cry because it’s moving, of course…but mostly, I cry because I have never seen myself so clearly in a depiction of an artist.

I never feel more connected to another human being than when I draw them. When I render their smiles, I imagine the experiences that created their laugh lines. When I paint the color in their cheeks, I wonder if they’ve ever seen themselves as beautifully as I see them in that moment.

Do they love the way their dimples are a little lopsided? Or how their beard adds so much dimension to their face? I do.

I paint self portraits constantly, shamelessly, because creating a beautiful painting where I am the subject feels like the ultimate act of self love.

Over the past couple weeks, I’ve been drawing little micro-portraits of my followers. 2.5 x 3 inches. It’s been one of my new favorite rituals, and a way for me to feel more connected to other creatives.

Some people have gone their entire lives without being drawn, you know. Some people have never had someone look at the color in their cheeks and wonder if cadmium yellow, yellow ochre, or burnt sienna would be a better warm base for their skin.

I want everyone to have that feeling. I want everyone to know how beautiful I think they are.

I think it’s why I’m here: to make things, and to help people see beauty in others.